It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize
