you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize