You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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