I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
