I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
