the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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