So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
