So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
