You smell like stripper and shame
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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