He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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