Quick, to the slutcave!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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