Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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