Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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