so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
