The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
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I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
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she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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