I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
