I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you inspire me to be a worse person
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize