I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize