Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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