everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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