i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
