I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
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