put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
