You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
