it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i dont even know how to be here
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
