I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
