You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
