Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
