Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
