i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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