is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
