Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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