A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
