i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
