Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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