once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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