Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
