I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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