She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
