I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
look no pants
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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