Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
