Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
