I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I need to sanitize my soul.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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