I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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