In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize