You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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