He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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