I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize