these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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