pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I came so hard my ears popped.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
