hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
