Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize