walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
