i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
