If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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