I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
