So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
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