I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
