Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
