Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
