At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
