He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
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My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
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I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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