I think I died a long time ago.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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