This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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