Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
