nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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